I feel alone,

Abandoned in the dark

And hard as I try,

I can no longer find the light

 

I see a tunnel,

That is even darker

I can go in,

Or I can just stay

Here and wait

For something or someone

To save me

I no longer,

Belong anywhere

In this world

I must learn to live,

With this horrible darkness,

That life has imposed upon me

I’m so sorry,

That life has moved you

To this state,

Where even you are writing,

About darkness and pain

I used to know happiness,

I used to know what I needed,

I used to be surrounded,

By people who cared for me

 

But now, I am shattering

Like  piece of glass

Yet nobody sees,

That I am slowly,

Losing pieces of me

It is true,

I am not there,

To see you wasting away

But I can feel your pain,

From all the way over here

I was filled with happiness,

All I wanted,

Was to bring joy,

To others

But my joy has been stolen,

And I’m left,

With no one to blame

 

Do I blame myself,

Do I blame my situation

I have become a person,

I do not recognize,

I did not know existed,

But is my only hope to survive

You will surely find your joy again,

I have not a single doubt

And you know as well as I,

That there is no one to blame

I wish I had,

More words of comfort to offer

But these truths, dear friend

Are all I can give you

I no longer enjoy,

The things I did before

I have been wounded,

But no one sees my blood,

No one sees my scars

 

The tables keep turning,

And I am lost,

Unable to find a way

To control them

And I keep falling

Life is beating me down

I wish I knew,

How to help you, dear friend

But all I can do,

Is lend you my hand

I see the people,

Trying to lend me their hand

I try to reach for it,

But it always slips away

I am being swept away,

In this hurricane of pain

And nothingness

 

No matter how hard I try,

I can’t escape it,

I try to pretend,

Everything is OK,

Its normal

I know I repeat,

This often my friend,

But I assure you,

That it will be worth the wait

But something great,

Is waiting

Just around the corner

And I wait,

For something or someone great

But the wait is killing me,

Slowly

 

Maybe, I will change

And then,

No one will be able,

To bring me back

We are all,

Constantly changing,

But I don’t need to tell you that

Dear friend, I have faith

That whoever you become,

Will be as amazing,

As the you I have come,

To know and love

I am trying to hold on,

But my grip is loosening

I dread everyday,

Being here,

Where I don’t belong

 

I try to lose myself,

In my life here,

But I can’t stop thinking

Of all that I’ve lost

You do belong,

And soon,

I’m sure you’ll see it too

You just need to take some time,

To get settled in,

To your new surroundings

To learn to love them too

I know I need,

To prove myself

This struggle is mine,

To fight

 

But I am waiting,

For just one ray,

Of hope,

Of light,

In this storm,

To guide me

It might be your fight,

But I have your back,

Always

You’re ray of hope,

Will surely come

And until then

I will have to suffice

I am losing myself,

Like a boat,

On the ocean

I try to find the shore,

But as far as I can see,

Is an ocean,

That never ends

 

I will keep sailing my little boat,

All alone

But my desire,

To find an island,

Is fading

 

But I cannot give up,

For that is even more difficult

Therefore I must keep sailing,

Even if the me that I once knew,

Dies within me

A new me will be born

 A new you will be as amazing as the old,

This I know for sure

Don’t give up,

Dear friend, you still have me

Sure we might be hundreds of miles apart

But you will always be nearby,

In my heart

But will she be sympathetic,

Loving and caring

Will she be afraid of loving people,

Because she is too afraid to loose them

One thing I know for sure,

Is that she will never forget what she went through

 

She will see life thorough a new lens

And only time will tell,

How she tried to make sense,

Of the people around her

And her new surroundings

I can’t say I know who she will be,

But I can tell you what she will hold dear

The people who care for her,

The precious time she has,

The joy she sees around her,

And the love granted to her

But for now,

I am the old emotional me,

Just holding on,

Waiting to be left behind by my own self

Hang in there,

And I know,

You will find yourself

I know I’m not great with emotions,

And I can’t be there for you all the time,

Much as I wish I could

But I can offer you words,

To comfort you,

In the only way I know how

I just hope,

I’ve said the right things

To help you

To save you

My bestest of friends

Recently, I was talking to a close friend of mine who’s moved away. She’s having a  hard time adapting to her new surroundings and this is a slightly poem-ized version of a chat we had the other day.

Image: Google, Pixabay
08/21/2016 (Very late in the night)

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